Here is the link to my portfolio!

Maddie_McElwee_Comp#5

“It was not a story to pass on” “This was not a story to pass on”

Dear Narrator,

The way that you told this story was great. You caught the deep feelings and lessons of what each character was going through and how they learned and better developed throughout the story. You help the readers learn more about the characters without giving away too much information early, which made us, the readers, more curious as to what would happen next, so we wanted to read more and more. Your ability to go in-depth with the characters helped me better visualize the characters and how their situations affected them as if I were watching it happen in real time. I wish we got a clear result of what happened to beloved, or if she will ever return, and if she does come back, would things be better, worse, or the same? But I can understand why you chose to leave it up to the reader’s imagination. I would also like to know why this story isn’t something that others should share with others; I think others could better understand what some people went through while trying to escape slavery and how the effects of getting to “freedom” affected people.

This was a very well-written story. I enjoyed reading it and watching the characters grow, learn how to heal, and let go of thoughts and feelings that were holding them down. Thank you for telling this story so well.

-Sincerely, Chaeli Drake

“There is a loneliness that can be rocked. Then there is a loneliness that roams. No rocking can hold it down.” (Morrison, 323)

Dear Narrator,

I would like to take a moment to thank you for how you tell this story. You infuse the lives of the characters with such emotion and depth. It was your words that enabled me to understand not only what they went through but also how it made them feel. You made me contemplate how much the past can affect people. With your storytelling, I was able to visualize how the pain of Sethe drove her to make her decisions, how Denver came into her strength, and how Paul D found a way to keep going. Even Beloved who at first seemed so mystical-was able to become someone I could understand because of how you told her story. This is what I appreciate most the honesty and realness of your voice. Sometimes, it sounded so distant, only telling the events other times, it felt like you drew me into the hearts of the characters. It placed me close to them and their struggles.

Your words taught me that healing takes time and that love, strong as it is, can be complicated, too. You reminded me that no matter how much pain one endures, there is always a hope for something better. Thank you for making that clear for me.

Sincerely,

Abdulaziz Pardaboev

The One Who Sees All

“Take them out and they disappear again as though nobody ever walked there.” (Morrison 324)

Dear Narrator,

Thank you for the insight you share with your readers. You help us see the interworkings of each character. With your help, we begin to understand the methodology behind Sethe’s actions. We watch Denver’s rise to independence, but we also see the trauma and destruction that has occurred in all of the characters’ lives.

You show us the good and the bad, even if it is hard to digest. You do not hold back the truth. I think you feel you must tell it how it is in an attempt to bring justice for the lives of enslaved people and help the world never forget the suffering of innocent people that happened in America. You are extremely strong and carry the weight of each person’s dark story. But because of you, we know the truth. We learn more of the horrors enslaved people faced and saw the depression and PTSD it caused them to have.

You see everyone’s past, present, and future. Through your eyes, we know who each character truly is and what has shaped them into the way they are.

Thank you for your honesty and strength throughout this journey and know that you are the voice for the innocent people who suffered and died without sharing their voice.

Thank you,

Maddie McElwee

Hey everyone! So this was my first time actually writing poetry and it was really fun. I think I did well for being a first-timer.

Here’s my finished adobe page if you’d like to check it out.

I wanted to write poetry and incorporate some of the subversive messaging in the book, and each poem connects to each other in some way as a complete symposium. Some of the lines may take a deeper dive to understand the intention behind them.

Since my original postings, I named each of the compositions and ordered them intentionally on the webpage to tell a story.

“Not At Fault Benevolent Soul” (Baby Suggs)
I wanted to start out on a different note and set up the loss that is to come, portraying an emotion of loss after hope.
I also wanted to meet Baby Suggs where she was and remind her that she wasn’t at fault for what happened.

“A Man to be, On the Run” (Paul D)
One of the smaller themes in the book, I felt, was on manhood, and whether slaveowners should treat slaves like men or whether or not Paul D was manly.
I wanted to meet Paul D after he ran away, questioning his morals and where he stands.

“A Mother’s Love, Lost” (Sethe) & “A Daughter’s Spirit, Blossoming” (Denver)
I wanted both Sethe and Denver’s poems to mirror each other, highlighting how they both need each other to survive and that there is still hope for the future.

“Sweet Home Chamomile” (Narrator)
I wasn’t too sure how to tackle the narrator composition, but I decided to make a statement Black experience as a whole, of the sixty million and more.
I was wondering what the meaning of chamomile was, and was inspired by this brief essay, which relates it to sin and mistakes.
When Sethe washes away the chamomile sap from her legs at the start of the book, she thinks about Sweet Home, and I correlate the build up of sap on her legs as the horrors of Sweet Home (hence, sweet home chamomile). I thought the irony of this title was interesting.

“A Collective Past” & “Footprints in the Sand” (Beloved)
Beloved’s poem has two different titles, which I believe to be synonymous, relating to the line at the end of the book about feet (trauma and identity) fitting into the sand (a collective horror for an entire people group).

Thanks to Helen for helping me take some of these photos!

“All of it is now there will never be a time when I am not crouching and watching others who are crouching too I am always crouching the man on my face is dead…”

Beloved, pg. 247.

To the narrator of Beloved,

This is not your story to tell,
But that of sixty million and more.
Crouching on the ships, in unending despair.
For a mother to end the life of her child,
Is there much worse to endure?

What is it that you see?
There’s still so much more to tell.
Would you keep on telling?
Whatever happened to poor Halle?
We never heard back from him.

How’s Amy Denver?
Did she ever make it to Boston?

What happened to Sethe,
and Paul D, too?
Did they make it through together?
Was there a tomorrow?
Could they really forget her like a bad dream?
There’s still so much more to tell.

“Although she has claim, she is not claimed. In the place where long grass opens, the girl who waited to be loved and cry shame erupts into her separate parts, to make it easy for the chewing laughter to swallow her all away.”

Chamomile, sitting on the tongue of the damned.
Sweet Home.
Reminiscing on the past,
Sap, sweet, sopped onto sorrows,
Washing it away,
Blocking it off.
Fire and brimstone, Pestilence.

A girl wanting to be loved
Crawling.
Fragile.
The chewing laughter eats her.
Will she ever be more than property to them?

Her price, greater than his.
His price, never forgotten.
Sweet Home Chamomile.

“It was the jungle white folk planted in them. And it grew. It spread. In, through and after life, it spread, until it invaded the whites who had made it. Touched them every one. Changed and altered them. Made them bloody, silly, worse than even they wanted to be, so scared were they of the jungle they had made” (Morrison, 234).

Dear Other,

Although you remain unknown and nameless, I feel like I know you. It’s odd writing to a narrator that never had a name. Maybe that’s the point. I admire your storytelling. When you spoke, which was minimal, you left an imprint on my heart and mind.

You are all of the voices of the unheard. The voices of suffering slaves and the slaves who died. You shifted my mindset and brought light to a situation that is not talked about nearly enough or in detail. 

You saw it all in 124. The pain, the beauty. You saw the grief and the light. You gave us a small glimpse into one family’s life that was full of the unexpected. You saw them, but you also saw us. You kept the story real and raw. Nothing was left unsaid. That is what makes this story so distinct.

It is heavy on my heart that ultimately, we, white people, created the jungle in which you lived. I feel remorse that my people did this to yours. There is no excuse for the suffering we caused. It feels like saying sorry will never be enough. What is done is done. We cannot change the past no matter how much I would love to. 

Thank you for making such an impact on me and the readers. Without you, this book would not be complete. I hope, if nothing else, a lesson is learned from this book. A lesson on how to not repeat history. You opened my eyes and many others to vulnerable and intimate sides of a world we never knew existed for slaves.  

I hope you know that you will be remembered. All of you. This is not a story to forget. If we forget it, how will we learn and grow? I know you mentioned it is not a story to pass on. Then what is the point? People need to know the truth-the other half. 

Again, nothing in this world will ever make it right to have you and your people go through the horrific, traumatizing things you endured. I cannot apologize enough. 

Thank you for speaking up. Thank you for representing those who have gone before us and those who still suffer. 

Gina

You Light Shines Through

“Lay em down, Sethe. Sword and shield. Down. Down. Both of em down. Down by the riverside. Sword and shield. Don’t study war no more.” (Morrison, 101)

Dear Baby Suggs,

You have the most beautiful soul. You have endured so much trauma through being born into slavery and having children while you were enslaved. But you persevered and found a chance to escape giving you a new chance to live life. Despite all the hardships, you never let it make you bitter. You always showed compassion and love.

Your death was a great loss, and you will be missed dearly. Your kindness and compassion along with your sermons have touched the lives of so many people. You helped bring your community together. You have completed great work and it is a shame you passed so soon. I know when Sethe killed her baby, it killed a part of you inside. It made you feel broken and lifeless with only 28 days left to live.

You knew Sethe’s intentions were good and it is truly inspiring that you do not hold it against her. You understood the position she was in. You also know the pain and trouble being enslaved inflicts within your mind. Nevertheless, it still broke your heart. That was your granddaughter. Her death pushed you into a depression phase causing you to stop preaching and ultimately ending in your death.

Since it was Sethe’s actions that caused your decline and death, do you think the community would hold her responsible?

I wish you were here now because you could see how Denver has flourished into an independent young woman. She must take after you because she is kind and hardworking. She is determined to get a job and make a better life for herself. The people she now works for, know you! They speak highly of you and say they could recognize a descendant of you anywhere. I hope this shows you how big of an impact you have had on others.

Although you are no longer here, you have never been forgotten. Sethe and Denver miss you terribly. But your light shine throughout them, their house, and the community because you have touched so many lives.

The world is a better place because of you,

Maddie McElwee

“Anybody Baby Suggs knew, let alone loved, who hadn’t run off or been hanged, got rented out, loaned out, bought up, brought back, stored up, mortgaged, won, stolen or seized.” (Morrison, 26)

Dear Baby Suggs,

You have had so many hardships and losses in your life; I know when Sethe came back without your son, it probably broke your heart to lose the last son you had. But you have also done a lot of good for the people around you, especially Sethe. When she returned, you ensured she was cleaned up before feeding the kids; you were a great mother and grandmother, friend, and neighbor. I know Sethe’s choice is what killed you; after you took care of both of them and faced all the deaths of your own children, you just couldn’t take it anymore.  But what Sethe did does not reflect on you. You are still remembered and loved around the city and your friends and loved ones. You are missed dearly by Denver, and she remembers much of what you taught her. so I hope you can rest in peace moving on from what Sethe did, be with the ones you love in the afterlife, and continue to watch over the family that you still have in the living world.

I hope you remember that you were a strong woman who had a lasting effect on the people you were surrounded by and helped. I hope you reunite with your children and others you know and love. I am so sorry for what those people did to you and your family. I hope you can forgive Sethe and continue to rest peacefully.

-Sincerely, Chaeli Drake

In the Shadows of Darkness

“It ain’t my job to know what’s worse. It’s my job to know what is and to keep them away from what I know is terrible. I did that.” (Morrison, 194)

Dear Beloved,

You appeared when we least expected. You threw everyone off guard and disrupted the dynamic of the house. But who can blame you? You were mad, hurt, and upset, rightfully so. You wanted answers, but that does not give you the right to treat Sethe the way you did.

Sethe had good intentions in her actions. She wanted to save you from experiencing the horrors and pain she had already endured. It is not fair for you to show up out of nowhere and yell at Sethe. She carries an immense amount of guilt for what she did, and she does not need you to make her feel any worse. Be thankful she did her best to save you. Be thankful you did not experience the pain and suffering of being enslaved.

Sethe loves you with her whole heart. She saw her baby within you. When you sang the song that only her baby would know, in that moment she knew who you were. She did everything she could to make you happy. She took you in and treated you as her own. She took care of you even though you made it extremely difficult. She cared for you more than Denver, who needed her mother’s presence the most. Sethe spent all her money on spoiling you with everything you could want, and it was never enough. You always asked for more. Nothing was ever good enough to satisfy you.

I think you had intentions of creating chaos and disrupting Sethe and Denver’s peace. How could you come to her home and then leave out of nowhere without saying goodbye? Sethe has been in bed for days mourning the loss of her baby and struggling to cope with her guilt. She’s left to wonder what could have been. Sethe needs to find healing and peace to move on from her past, and your presence sets back her ability to heal.

I am sorry for the pain you have endured, but your presence causes more pain than you could imagine. Maybe it is best that you are gone, but I hope you know you always have and always will be missed.

Don’t drag others into your darkness,

Maddie McElwee